Grey Boxes

I’ve never wanted to feel my best
all of the time
We are all taught by someone
how best to hide our misgivings,
when best to seduce away discomforts
I know there is no net

I’ve only been disemboweled a few times
Does that answer your question?
I want to be able to give an answer
that pertains to everything
the way magic solves the strange urgency
to weep

I want to be able to write:
I was an ice cube
gently melting in the cocktail
I was somersaulted,
Ohhhhhh
but I wasn’t taught to do that

I am in the dark
I do not sit inside grey boxes
I was taught to be severe
to keep myself safe
My charm is a soft sadness
Blanketing all you think is there